East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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