Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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