Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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