tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
