All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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