When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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