I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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