Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
