garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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