Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
