he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Randomize
