that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
