I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
