Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
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