i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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