About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
