He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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