he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I think I sprained my soul last night
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
