VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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