found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
