In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
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