Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize