Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
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i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
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my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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