Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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