Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
