You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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