What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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