You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
