It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
