escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
