K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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