Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
