Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
