ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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