I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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