Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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