so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
