So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
