Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
