By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
