I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
