Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
