I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i barfeds in our rink
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
