belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
