I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
