Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
