Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
