new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
