WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
