New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
