Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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