is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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