white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
