Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
