Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
