My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
