Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
