This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm passing your future prison.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
