Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm really into asian looking animals
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
