we have officially lost it.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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