I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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