I'm going to jail i love you
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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