Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
