Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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