ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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