She's JV to your varsity
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
