I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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