It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
