it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I woke up under a house in Key West
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
