is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize